Toxic Positivity in Writing

Toxic positivity or sometimes positive toxicity is a dysfunctional approach to emotional management that happens when people do not fully acknowledge negative emotions, particularly anger and sadness.

One thing I don't like about authors, mostly newer faces that scutter around Discord servers, is the toxic positivity that they peddle around. I've seen books that were clearly badly written get so much applause that the author believed they would then succeed with the general public.

It turns out that asking other authors for feedback is often a bad idea. Or, at least, it's a bad idea when you get only positive feedback. But I do get where this overall attitude comes from: it happened to me more than once that someone asked me for advice, I told them that they wrote something boring and elaborated on what could make the book better--but still, I got ghosted by those people.

Writers are vane and arrogant, as a rule of thumb. They don't take criticism as well as any other profession. Since it's so hard to objectively judge whether something is good or not, many just give up. Instead of creating more advanced categories, they just pile up lies onto new writers.

Personally, I believe you can distinguish good writing and writing that is good for the market. A book that sells well doesn't need a good style. But you can still tell someone, 'yo, maybe you could write a little better than that.' Which actually sounds like a maxim we should bless everyone with. Everyone can do better, even the best.

This doesn't exactly reflect the sphere of 'toxic positivity.' Or its dictionary definition, at least. However, it's part of the broader field in which toxic positivity grows among writers.

I come from a more 'start-uppish' community. That means I know troves of people who are trying to optimize their life in order to stay as productive as possible; possibly, those people are on the exact opposite spectrum. Among start-up people, you see the toxic ultra-workers who barely sleep - or claim to, at least. But among writers, you see the super lazy people who have no regard for a healthy routine and consistency in their life.

Now, I'm biased because I'd rather work with someone who has to learn how to work less than someone who has to learn how to work more. And it's a fact that many writers simply drop their projects because they can't write enough and because they don't have structure. I know writers who have very weird structures and, as long as it works for them, good. But the majority of people sorely overestimate their 'specialness.' Especially if you live in the US, there's an epidemic of psychiatric drugs prescription and excessive diagnoses being performed.

One of the secrets to success is stability. Married people are more successful than single people because there's a stable and productive environment in healthy marriages. Sure, not all marriages, but that's beside the point. But you don't need to get married tomorrow, right? You can start by picking up the trash lying around in your house, get a consistent bedtime, and going for a light run with a C25K program three times a week. Three changes that can deeply impact anyone's life.

But most writers are maybe too young to set a schedule for themselves. When you have to go to school and deal with your parents, everything becomes harder. Every time I go stay at my mother's place for holidays and so, I always pick up smoking once again because she smokes cigarettes. So, I end up smoking cigarettes. We are a byproduct of our environment for a good chunk of who we are, probably as big as half of who we are. So, changing where and with whom we are will go a long way in changing ourselves. If you can afford living alone or with non-toxic people, go for it.